Bereavement is the process that relates to the loss of a close relationship through death. Grief consists of the feelings experienced after the loss.
Bowlby (1980) provides a description of losing a loved one:
‘Loss of a loved person is one of the most intensely painful experiences any human can suffer. And not only is it painful to experience but it is also painful to witness, if only because we are impotent to help. To the bereaved nothing but the return of the lost person can bring true comfort.’
Grief as an emotion typically comes after the initial shock and numbness of the bereavement. Grief is also not just about the fact that we have lost someone, but also about the more fundamental fact that someone no longer physically exists.
This can affect an individual in a variety of ways:
- Intellectually as it becomes a threat to what we know;
- Psychologically by becoming a threat to one’s self-identity;
- Behaviourally by causing a disruption in one’s usual routines;
- Spiritually through a crisis in one’s faith and raising questions about the meaning and purpose of life;
- Physically by causing stress-related illness;
- Emotionally by raising strong emotions.
The process of grieving can be seen as the construction and understanding of a new sense of one’s purpose and direction in life, even if this also involves continuing the bonds with the deceased. Grieving therefore involves, over time, a process of adjustment and adaptation to the loss.
References:
A full list of references is available in the Reference Material section.
- Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and Loss Vol 3 Loss; Sadness and Depression. Random House.
- Brinkman, S. (2018). General Psychological Implications of the Human Capacity for Grief. Integr Psych Behav, 52.
- Heyse-Moore, L. (2009) Speaking of Dying – A Practical Guide to Using Counselling Skills in Palliative Care. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
- Young, A. (2009) Working with Bereavement. In: Barnett, L. (2014) When Death Enters the Therapeutic Space: Existential Perspectives in Psychotherapy and Counselling. Hove: Routledge.
