The death of a loved one is a profoundly impactful life event. During grieving, some individuals report extraordinary encounters with the deceased, known as End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences. These experiences, while often dismissed as fantastical or pathological, constitute a documented and relatively common phenomenon within bereavement research (Barbato, et al., 1999; LaGrand, 2005; Beischel, et al., 2014).
End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences as Sources for Hope and Meaning-Making
Research suggests that End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences extend far beyond mere comfort for the bereaved (Damaris & Drewry, 2003). They can serve as sources for:
Hope: The perception of the deceased as safe and content in another spiritual realm can offer solace and assist in the acceptance of the loss (LaGrand, 2005; Kwilecki, 2011; Holden, 2012a). End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences can offer a glimmer of hope for continued existence that may ease the initial shock and despair following a bereavement.
Meaning-Making: End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences may suggest a temporary separation rather than a definitive ending, implying a potential future reunion (Fenwick & Brayne, 2011; Holden, 2012b). This reframing of a bereavement may provide the experience with meaning and purpose in the face of immense loss. End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences may therefore provide a belief system that suggests a continuation of life or connection, offering meaning to the shared past and a potential future bond with the deceased person.
Spiritual Connection: End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences may lead to a shift from a physical bond with the deceased to a spiritual connection (Field, et al., 2005; Klugman, 2006; Sanger, 2009). This ongoing bond can offer a sense of security and comfort, similar to the concept of a “secure base” in attachment theory (Loetz, et al., 2013). As the physical absence of a loved one can leave a profound sense of emptiness, End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences may suggest a continuing connection on a spiritual level, offering a sense of security and comfort in the face of physical separation.
End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences and Attachment Theory: Addressing Needs and Fostering Growth
Attachment theory (Bowlby, 1997) suggests that secure bonds provide the foundation for emotional well-being. Some research studies suggest that End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences may address these needs by offering:
Consolation and Reassurance: The experience of reconnection with the deceased, even on a non-physical plane, can provide comfort and a sense of security (LaGrand, 2005; Parker, 2005). The sense of not being completely alone in grief can be immensely comforting. End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences can offer a sense of reassurance that the bond with the deceased remains, even though it has transformed.
Growth: End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences may trigger ongoing personal and spiritual growth by prompting reflection on life, death, and the nature of existence, potentially leading to new perspectives and a renewed sense of purpose (LaGrand, 2005). These profound experiences can be catalysts for self-discovery as confronting one’s own mortality may lead to a deeper appreciation for life and the relationships we hold dear.
Maintaining the Bond: Grieving doesn’t require forgetting the person who has died. By fostering an ongoing connection with the deceased, End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences may help in maintaining a sense of closeness with the deceased and facilitate healthy grieving (Walliss, 2001; Klugman, 2006; Sanger, 2009; Loetz, et al., 2013; Beischel, et al., 2014).
The Importance of Personal Meaning and Seeking Professional Support
The comfort derived from End-of-Life Phenomena Experiences can be significant, with some describing it as “soothing broken hearts instantly” (Kwilecki, 2011). Research by Steffen and Coyle (2010) suggests that finding personal meaning in these experiences can lead to positive outcomes like post-traumatic growth (Broden & Uveges, 2018).
References
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Beischel, J., Mosher, C. and Boccuzzi, M. (2014) The possible effects on bereavement of assisted after-death communication during readings with psychic mediums: a continuing bonds perspective. Omega (Westport), 70(2), pp. 169-194. <doi: 10.2190/OM.70.2.b>.
Bowlby, J. (1997) Attachment – Attachment and Loss: Volume 1. London: Pimlico.
Broden, E. G. and Uveges, M. K. (2018) Applications of Grief and Bereavement Theory for Critical Care Nurses. AACN Adv Crit Care, 29(3) 2018, pp. 354-359. <doi: 10.4037/aacnacc2018595>.
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Holden, J. M. (2012a) After-math: Counting the Aftereffects of Potentially Spiritually Transformative Experiences. Journal of Near-Death Studies, 31(2), pp. 65-78.
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