The aim of bereavement counselling support is to facilitate wellbeing, and to reaffirm or reconstruct meaning for a bereaved person.
Some bereaved people experience persistent unrelenting distress, difficulty functioning, and impaired social engagement. This is labelled as complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder. A bereaved person at risk of complicated or prolonged grief may need professional support to address this sustained and disruptive impact of loss.
A 2017 study addressed two questions from the point of view of a bereaved person:
- What are the outcomes of bereavement counselling for a client?
- What helps produce these outcomes within the counselling process?
Seeking Bereavement Counselling
The main motivation for seeking bereavement counselling within 6 months of the death of their loved one for participants was the intensity of grief they experienced. Participants’ described:
- Deep unrelenting sadness;
- Not being able to think clearly or remember important details or activities;
- Experiencing anxiety attacks and disrupted functioning at work;
- Facing negative impacts on relationships.
Several participants sought bereavement counselling to protect concerned family and friends from their deep distress. They described feeling frustrated when friends were unable to listen, told them they were strong, or were not present.
They accepted the potential benefit of a professional who was distinct from family, understood grief, and could provide a different perspective and safe place for exploration.
Working Collaboratively
Participants explained how counsellors established and developed a working relationship. From the first meeting, counsellors generated trust despite participants feeling nervous, overwhelmed, or highly emotional. All described counsellors as dynamic, respectful, and empathic. Several participants felt respected when the counsellors did not sympathise, speak in a patronising manner, nor offer simplistic reassurance.
The counsellor’s self-disclosure fostered confidence, respect, and trust. The knowledge and comfort of a shared experience of loss built connection and openness to strategies. Most participants felt that the counsellor generated interpersonal warmth and safety, so they could speak freely.
With safety, participants shared spiritual matters, guilt about the person’s death, regrets about their role in the relationship with the deceased, or fears about the future.
Appraising Efficacy
Participants reported a range of insights as a result of counselling. Participants who had previously believed that you got over being bereaved and moved on with your life, came to understand that the loss continues and you learn to live with the ongoing pain.
Many participants stated that bereavement counselling encouraged them to build a life around their grief. They recognised that to continue living they needed to be resourceful, to act, to make their own choices, and to foster social connections.
Bereavement counselling also facilitated changes in behaviour and thinking for most participants. Many indicated that the guilt felt about the person’s death subsided through bereavement counselling. They came to accept, albeit reluctantly, there was nothing further they could have done for their loved one, which in turn enabled shifts in perspective to emerge.
Summary
The study found that bereavement counselling can produce a diverse range of outcomes, including: greater self-awareness, cognitive restructuring, a reshaped identity, and post-traumatic growth.
It also found that effective bereavement is influenced by the personal attributes of the client and counsellor, the development of a collaborative therapeutic alliance, and the adoption of a person-centred approach by the counsellor.
References:
A full list of references is available in the Reference Material section.
- Chalmers, A. (2009) Working with Bereaved Parents. In: Barnett, L. (2014) When Death Enters the Therapeutic Space: Existential Perspectives in Psychotherapy and Counselling. Hove: Routledge.
- Heyse-Moore, L. (2009) Speaking of Dying – A Practical Guide to Using Counselling Skills in Palliative Care, London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
- Klasen, M., Bhar, S., Uglad, A. and Hall, C. (2017). Clients’ Perspectives on Outcomes and Mechanisms of Bereavement Counselling: A Qualitative Study. Australian Psychologist, 52.
